When you're chronically ill, the holidays can be lonely. Feelings of guilt are common. A look at how to set boundaries, support other disabled people and a reminder that you're never alone.
Thank you for this. I really needed to read this right now. I’m in my room feeling terrible while festive stuff is happening just in the other room. I’m in too much pain to even sit in a regular chair and I can’t eat any of the food that’s been prepared. So, not actually alone in the house, but very lonely. And my mental health has really tanked as well. Sending out love to everyone who also feels unwell and alone. 💗
Since becoming disabled with Long Covid in 2020, I’ve had five holiday seasons to try to navigate. Depending on the year (ie, how flared I am), I either make just one easy recipe instead of the entire feast…or order takeout! I send Jacquie Lawson ecards (charming English illustrations) instead of buying, writing, stamping, addressing, and mailing paper cards. No more big cut trees, instead I bought a tabletop tree with lights, but some years, like this one, I just have a big bowl filled with ornaments (walking out to the storage shed and hauling in boxes is just too much). I buy the few presents I’m giving online…shopping in person is out of the question. I “wrap” presents by putting them in holiday gift bags with tissue sticking out the top. EVERYTHING is about “less is better.” And I do the same as you, Kelly, Christmas movies and music. And oh my goodness, I read sooo many books to escape!
You have a beautiful soul and you have a gift of sharing. I'm depressed because when I told my mother I was diagnosed terminal her reply was, "Good, more for your brother."
Your words made me excuse her and focus on happier times.
Hi, Kelly - it's a hospital Christmas for me this year. My son is visiting tomorrow, so my sister is coming on Saturday. They understand - I'm very lucky.
From one "spoonie" to another who is also experiencing another acute injury-on-chronic exacerbation of multiple, severe syndromes & disorders, Happy (as possible) Holidays with love, gentle hugs, and much appreciation for your superb contributions! 🌲🫂💙💥
I got a 2 foot tall plastic Xmas tree that came with lights and ornaments and it does me just fine. I take it out of the box and plug it in. As I come across cute little things, I add those to the tree as ornaments. The first was a tiny pink flamingo.
We always had fake trees because of allergies, and we used the same one from the time I was born until after I was married. By the time we got all the lights, ornaments, and tinsel on, you couldn't tell anyway! My parents downsized and got a new, smaller one, and boy did it get even more covered with the same amount of decorations.
A great reminder, Kelly! I used to deliver groceries as a teen in an upscale area of Toronto and since women outlived men even back then, I delivered to many older lonely women! So I rotated my time with them so I could spend a little time with them each week! Not only did they enjoy it alot, I found myself happier inside, which I believe now is because we are meant to Love and teach others to Love!
Well said, thank you from the deepest part of my soul for your kind words, wonderful ideas and helping me and many others not feel alone and forgotten. You are loved and appreciated from northern Minnesota, and I send you a virtual, and very safe distance Christmas hug 🫂🎄
Thank you, Kelly. Really hit home, tearing up a bit here. No energy to write more but just wanted to say I’m so grateful you shared this.
Thank you for this. I really needed to read this right now. I’m in my room feeling terrible while festive stuff is happening just in the other room. I’m in too much pain to even sit in a regular chair and I can’t eat any of the food that’s been prepared. So, not actually alone in the house, but very lonely. And my mental health has really tanked as well. Sending out love to everyone who also feels unwell and alone. 💗
Thank you for being so honest about what we go through on holidays.
Since becoming disabled with Long Covid in 2020, I’ve had five holiday seasons to try to navigate. Depending on the year (ie, how flared I am), I either make just one easy recipe instead of the entire feast…or order takeout! I send Jacquie Lawson ecards (charming English illustrations) instead of buying, writing, stamping, addressing, and mailing paper cards. No more big cut trees, instead I bought a tabletop tree with lights, but some years, like this one, I just have a big bowl filled with ornaments (walking out to the storage shed and hauling in boxes is just too much). I buy the few presents I’m giving online…shopping in person is out of the question. I “wrap” presents by putting them in holiday gift bags with tissue sticking out the top. EVERYTHING is about “less is better.” And I do the same as you, Kelly, Christmas movies and music. And oh my goodness, I read sooo many books to escape!
You have a beautiful soul and you have a gift of sharing. I'm depressed because when I told my mother I was diagnosed terminal her reply was, "Good, more for your brother."
Your words made me excuse her and focus on happier times.
I am saving your story.
Hi, Kelly - it's a hospital Christmas for me this year. My son is visiting tomorrow, so my sister is coming on Saturday. They understand - I'm very lucky.
Dear Kelly,
From one "spoonie" to another who is also experiencing another acute injury-on-chronic exacerbation of multiple, severe syndromes & disorders, Happy (as possible) Holidays with love, gentle hugs, and much appreciation for your superb contributions! 🌲🫂💙💥
Thank you. I needed to read this. 🙏🏻
I got a 2 foot tall plastic Xmas tree that came with lights and ornaments and it does me just fine. I take it out of the box and plug it in. As I come across cute little things, I add those to the tree as ornaments. The first was a tiny pink flamingo.
We always had fake trees because of allergies, and we used the same one from the time I was born until after I was married. By the time we got all the lights, ornaments, and tinsel on, you couldn't tell anyway! My parents downsized and got a new, smaller one, and boy did it get even more covered with the same amount of decorations.
Dear Kelly,
Know that you are in my heart. Merry Christmas and lots of hope and love to you in the New Year. xxoo
Just sending lots of gentle hugs and love for a beautiful Christmas for you 🎄💜
A great reminder, Kelly! I used to deliver groceries as a teen in an upscale area of Toronto and since women outlived men even back then, I delivered to many older lonely women! So I rotated my time with them so I could spend a little time with them each week! Not only did they enjoy it alot, I found myself happier inside, which I believe now is because we are meant to Love and teach others to Love!
As always, I remain, your friend, wishing you the best under difficult circumstances, Bob
Well said, thank you from the deepest part of my soul for your kind words, wonderful ideas and helping me and many others not feel alone and forgotten. You are loved and appreciated from northern Minnesota, and I send you a virtual, and very safe distance Christmas hug 🫂🎄
Thanks for sharing…
Merry Christmas 🤶 🎄